Wednesday, August 16, 2006
My Humps vs. London Bridge
ME: Hey VE, I'm having a creative dilemma, that maybe you can help me out with. I can't decide which song is worse: My Humps or London Bridge? Can you help me work this out?
VE: Certainly.
Where are you leaning right now?
ME: Well, I've always felt that My Humps was the worst song in the world, but after hearing the London Bridge in its entirety, I may be mistaken...
VE:I don't think so. I think My Humps has it beaten by a few marginal points.
For one thing -
London Bridge is shorter
So it's over quicker.
Me: Right, but London Bridge is also only sung by Fergie, aka "Fergi Ferg, me love you long time." My Humps at least has some vocal variety...the guy who sings, "what you gonna do wit all o dat ass"
VE: And it's got the guy in the background lovingly crooning "luuuuuuuuuuuuu
And as far as the other "guy" in the song? -
What's he mean "whatchoo gonna do with all that breast up in that shirt?"
Why does she have to do ANYthing with it?
There's an assumptive quality to his inquisition, and it bothers me.
ME: Right, but at least we know where he's going with his inquisition to Fergie. In London Bridge, Fergie says, "How come every time you come around, my London London Bridge want to go done. Like London London London, want you to go down, Like London London be going down."
VE:You don't get that?
Me: Does she want to go down- or not?
VE: Ha - It's true - She seems to be conflicted.
Who's supposed to go down here?
Is this going down a good thing or a bad thing? We can't tell.
ME:Or is she only going down because "When drinks start pouring, and my speach stard slowing, everbody start looking at you"
VE:Is that the line? I thought it was "Everybody start looking real good."
I could be wrong.
ME: The Lyrics on the net say "Looking at You. " Also the "Grey Goose got the girl feeling Loose"- now this is from the same girl that said in My Humps- "you can look, but don't tough, or I'm gonna start so drama, no no drama, we don't want no drama..."
VE: Well, obviously, she hadn't had any Grey Goose during that song.
Otherwise, she'd be all, "feel my lumps."
You know what we should do?
We should get two roosters.
Two huge, man-eating roosters with big talons.
Name one "London Bridge" and the other "My Humps."
Throw them both into a cockfighting pit, watch them slash at each other.
Whichever one is left standing is the worse song.
ME: Well in that case My Humps would clearly kill London Bridge. London Bridge is a far weeker song
VE: Well, there you go - You just answered your own question.
ME: I guess I did.
VE: Maybe we'd luck out and the two cocks would kill each other.
And then - through some kind of magic rooster power - both songs would be eradicated from our memories and our cultural landscape.
ME: Is it the songs that need to be eradicated, or Fergie Ferg?
VE: Fergie has promised to give me love you long time
ME: Well Mr- Are trying to start some drama- we don't want no drama...
VE: My head is going to explode.
Maybe it's just retrospect - Maybe London Bridge hasn't been around long enough yet for me to loathe it as much as I loathe My Humps.
That being said - Fergie is releasing an entire album soon.
I am praying to every God I can think of that London Bridge is its only single spawn.
Damn it.
You made me relisten to London Bridge and My Humps.
Thanks a lot.
ME: I think peroxide in the ears could clear that up
VE: I'm going to have to listen to Billy Idol's "Eyes Without A Face" 15 times to get Fergie out of my head.
# posted by Marcos @ 5:30 PM 
Comments:
<< Home
I had a crappy day with lots of bosses buzzing around my uninterested head. Now I have 20 minutes to look at blogs, and this has made me happy.
Grinning,
El
Grinning,
El
# posted by 
: 5:46 PM
: 5:46 PM
Have you discussed the possibility that they are equally bad? Once you get past a certain point on the "Bad Spectrum" the degree of badness is totally irrelvent. Although this did make me laugh out loud.
Post a Comment
<< Home
